It’s not always easy to accept your own flaws.
Now more than ever.
I’d love to tell you all of how I’ve found enlightenment during this pandemic; of how it took a virus to make me a brand new woman.
None of that I’m afraid.
I’m the same “me” I was 2 months ago.
Same little idiosyncrasies, same thoughts…same old me.
And I have been struggling with this, to tell the truth.
I mean, for this whole lock down thing to make a bit of sense in my mind, surely I should be able to take something amazing away from it.
Something life changing.
Something that makes me go: “damn, it was all worth it in the end!”
As I struggle with my own humanness, I’m left with having to accept my own darkness too.
And it doesn’t feel that bad after all: just being able to look at myself in the mirror in my bare messiness is enough to feel compassion.
Yes, I have felt compassion for my little annoying “mini me”, perhaps for the first time in my life.
Surprisingly, as I let myself off the hook, I can do the same with everybody else: my husband first & foremost ’cause he’s my corona virus’ companion along with our Zhibbi!
I see my struggles being his and it’s just easy to feel OK about what we really are.
And in my realization, I feel strong and closer to him than I ever been.
And perhaps this is what I’m meant to take away from the unexpected pause we have all been taking.
In our constant fight with life, we forget that we shine the most in the dark!