Life has felt particularly messy lately. Usually, the time in between seasons can prove rather unsettling and often leaves me unable to find my space. What I have come to realize is that my resistance is actually a distraction from what wishes to be heard.
A couple of days ago, feeling rather pained and bothered, I struggled to choose how to spend the weekend. Many options came to mind, and yet none of them felt attractive enough. I kept on hovering around my apartment, pretending to be pottering a little. Truthfully, I just wanted to escape from myself but whenever I came close to get dressed and go out, I’d change my mind. Until I heard a soft yet firm voice echoing loud within me:
“Stay in the mess.”
I was meant to stay at home and find solitude. In the mess.
While the unexpected invite threw me off at first, I soon saw the benefit of spending some time in silence and by myself.
But here what usually happens when I give in to my soul’s guidance into solitude: noises become louder, distractions more luring, and my resistance to finally rest within me even stronger.
This time around, I sense that I ought to allow the mess get even messier, before I can fully receive its message.
Until next time,