Today was a good day.
So good I decided to write a post about it.
And what I mean by good day has little to do with how life happened around me and everything with the feeling that always brings me back to my heart.
I got to see my father in law earlier this morning for the first time in over 5 months.
I’m very fond of this little Mr Magoo lookalike (they are literally identical!) and it saddened me very much when after his late’s wife funeral, back in January, he announced to both my husband & I that he wanted to be on his own and was not going to receive any visits for a while.
He explained he needed solitude and he was sure we’d understand.
Of course I didn’t understand.
Saying I was shocked is an understatement.
I come from a culture where death brings people together, whether you want it to or not. Being Italian means, among the many things, that you will support your dear ones who are going through bereavement and no one is left to face death on their own.
Still, when my own father passed away, I wanted to throw people out of the house and tell them to just give me space and let me breathe. No matter how long they’d be with us, the food they’d be cooking, the chores they’d be running, their presence was not going to bring my father back, and most of all, it was not going to mend my broken heart.
Unable to face that death really is the only certainty in our life, and that it has no favoritism?
But I also struggled with letting others know that it was OK to grieve, and no one should take that experience away from me. I was going to come out of it, however long it’d take, and if ever in need of a healing hand I’d be able to ask.
So why was I taken aback by my father in law’s need for privacy and silence?
Because I have been taught that when people suffer you wipe their tears and that there are pains too big to handle on your own.
Life has proved me otherwise time after time.
I have come to learn not only through working with my clients, but merely through being more present & open, that we all have a resilience within us which will lift us and move us where we intend to go.
This innate health we are filled with is always available and it’s our natural state, but we often lose touch with it.
We obstinately march through life demanding that it goes our way, only to forget how to swim in the stream of events which will unfold naturally, with or without our presence.
To be human is to have the certainty that yes, our time here will end, no, we will never stop our thinking and yes, we will always experience a variety of emotions because that comes with being alive.
And if we stopped being scared of our own experiences, our world will suddenly change. If we could let ourselves “feel” life without trying to fix it and make it better, that will allow our innate intelligence to move us back to our natural state of well being.
So next time someone asks you for space, will you trust their resilience will be a guiding light for their bruised soul? Or will you try and make reality prettier for them, taking away the opportunity to work things out for themselves? Will you stand close by, with your strong hands ready to support them if they fall or will you walk the healing path for them?Because No matter how lost we seem to be, some walks we have to take alone.
I’m the founder of Evoking Grace, a coaching program designed to inspire others to be their very best while bringing ease and balance into their everyday life. I can be contacted by email for more details on the work I offer or to schedule a free “Wisdom Within Session“. Follow my mumbling & musings on Facebook , Twitter & Pinterest to be part of my “online tribe”.