The last 12 months we all have experienced a shift in the way we relate to others.

Especially our folks.

The other day someone rang me saying ” I am divorcing my own family, do you think you could help me?”

“You must be mistaken sir, for I work with Spirit not with law”, I replied thinking I was being pranked.

The man on the line was actually dead serious.

He wanted help to get his head around why he suddenly needed to walk away from those he grew up with.

As if our mind could ever really understand the reasons of the heart.

Lately I have met quite a few people like my grieving man.

Suddenly everything we had been able to accept an entire life feels so constrictive we can not longer breathe.

Here is the thing: we have all been brought up to stick with our own.

It does not matter who they are, what they do, and mostly how they treat you and everybody else.

You stick with them.

And by doing so, you naively perpetuate a game as old as the world.

It is called “let’s keep one another small.”

There is no malice in this, no bad players.

In fact I would go as far as saying that we all have been pretty good at it, but now a few of us have grown really bored.

We wonder if perhaps the rules could be slightly changed, so we could help one another to become big instead.

How is that for a game?

Let’s help one another to fly high sounds like a pretty fun idea to me and I bet many have already started to play it.

Because the world has actually changed and our soul cannot longer be silenced.

We want to grow and take risks.

We want to stand on our own while helping those close to us to do the same.

For when one is able to do that, they will make a real difference for themselves and the rest of the world.

We don’t “divorce” our family out of resentment or lack of love.

Instead we allow one another to walk our path back to our true self, and often that journey cannot be taken together.

We often believe that if we change just a little bit more, or become nicer than the rest of the family will also change.

Unfortunately we forget that there are so many dynamics at play, most of which are actually hidden to our eyes.

But not to our heart.

The heart always knows when we just are just tolerating someone or something, when we compromise ourselves so we can belong somewhere.

While this has been the norm for thousands of years, now every single one of us has been invited to create a new way.

For those who came before our time and those yet to come.

That is how we slowly change that world that suddenly felt desperately in need of our deep care and love.

We start from home, with respect and appreciation for everybody’s journey.

To love them means letting them be able to work things out for themselves, in their own time.

To love ourselves often means having to walk on our own, with an open heart and enough grace to raise above the small pettiness of human life.

For in the end, my friend, none of it really matters.

We all come here to remember our grandness, and families offer us the perfect opportunity to grow in all that we are.

Even through the tears and the heartache.

I invite you to honour your folks today just as they are.

For their darkness is your darkness also and their journey is the same that brought you in this life.

So be it,

Antonia Lyons



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