What Has A Global Pandemic Got To Do With Our Heart

While the whole world embraces itself during these uncertain times, I sense more and more a strong presence around me.

I feel her moving with me, breathing with me, pausing with me.

And it’s in the pauses that I feel her the most.

It’s in when I surrender to my feelings about what’s unfolding and changing so fast in the world, that I can hear her whispering to me.

It’s in my ability and need to surrender to something I cannot change, that I create space for her to move around.

Almost as if it’s suddenly OK to be worried, or down.

It’s OK to be human.

This presence invites me to go down, way down.

To a place within I have never been before.

A place that has always felt so far, but which right now, is so close.

And that’s where she will meet me.

Life will meet me half way in the silence that is wanting to emerge through my wondering mind.

And when she speaks, I shall listen.

With a heart I will never close again, for it’s been ripped open by so many unexpected events.

And yet, it’s never felt so alive before.

It comes a time in our life, when we know words won’t do it.

We know we said all there was to say, and if tried and add more we’d just add to the existing pain.

I sense this may just be that time.

This last month has seen the fall of whatever we have been so busy building through the years.

No matter how much we have been striving for more, most of it has come to a halt.

Suddenly we have found ourselves very exposed and also unsure of what’s next.

It’s in that uncertainty that lies both the tragedy but also the great gift of this rather unique time.

And when I say “tragedy”, I mean no harm but I simply refer to how our achievements don’t really seem to matter much anymore.

Who cares abut how far we’ve come in life, when we suddenly need to queue up for milk and toilet paper?

Just like everybody else!

We wanted to be special by pushing our way through life, and all of a sudden we are all standing in line unsure of what is yet to come.

But in this “not knowing”, also lies a small fortune.

For each one of us, as there will be plenty for all.

Right now we have the opportunity to create more space around and within us.

For all the times we felt crushed by a never stopping world, we can now pause and take a breath.

And we can start looking around us: do we like what we see?

Whatever we see, now it’s the time to decide whether it stays or it goes.

Do we like who we are, what we have become, what we had to do in order to get there?

Does it feel good in our heart, or does it just sit on it like a massive stone that won’t move?

It’s the biggest joke ever, really is, this time.

We get to lose what we worked so hard for, only to find the very thing we always wanted but couldn’t get enough of.

Our hands may suddenly be empty, but we are filling them with something we cannot see.

Only feel.

And soon our hands will be full again, this time we something we’ll never lose.

I wish you much “presence” for the month ahead.

May you find the courage to go within.

And may you rest in that precious dwelling place called heart.

There you shall get stronger again, while Life gently whispers to you truths you once knew but forgot.

And when you awake, nothing will ever be the same.

Antonia Lyons

 

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