I often said how 2019 was a life changing year.
In my case, it started with a bang: early in January I lost my 9-5 job that for 7 years had financed my holistic practice and studies.
I don’t recall much of what and how it all happened, but one cold and grey afternoon I put my coat on, grouped all my belongings and I never went back to the office that I had truly considered a second home.
Worst of all, I never got to say goodbye to the people who had become part of my life.
Even the most idiotic one of them all, still was part of my life and I was not quite ready to go without.
They called it “internal restructure” at the time.
I called it “wtf am i going to do with myself now???”
I suddenly felt lost, betrayed and most of all SMALL.
“How could they get rid of me? I’m one of the good guys!!!!” – I kept on wondering in my head.
Deep in my heart I knew I had had this a long time coming.
For a while I had felt the culture of the office both toxic and limiting of people’s mental and emotional health.
I really just wanted to focus on taking my coaching practice off the ground and it no longer made sense to be in an environment where I felt people were often both undermined and unsupported.
But the money was great, the office located within minutes from home and close to all my favorite shops.
It really was time to go!
Despite all my buts and resistance to change, there I was jobless and feeling sorry for myself.
It was as if The Universe had suddenly turned around and said:
“Sorry love, this is no longer your place. I heard you saying you want to start a new adventure, so off you go and prove to the world what you can do.”
I mean, this was the chance of a lifetime: I now had the resources to invest in what I was born to do, that is help others to grow in their best selves!
And yet, I felt exposed and lost.
Suddenly my hard work was no longer enough to make me feel as if I stood a chance.
I felt like a very tiny fish in the vastest ocean.
For a while I wandered the streets of London crying my eyes out and unable to make any real progress.
It felt as if I was in mourning.
I was mourning the part of me that had believed in a dream: when you work hard and you are one of the good guys, then no bad things will happen.
That part had died that afternoon back in January and I wasn’t quite ready to let it go.
After much soul searching and quite few packets of tissues, suddenly my tears were all dry and my heart on the mend.
I was back!
Since then my life has been a roller-coaster: I met incredible people, got to see amazing places & grew my practice.
But most of all, I got to grow myself.
Losing one’s job is never fun.
We unwittingly identify with what we do, especially when we actually like it, although it may not be our true calling.
When it’s taken away from us, it is as if we almost had to rebuild ourselves.
Aside from the practical stuff, like bringing home enough money to support ourselves and our family, a job is also a way to fit into the world.
And yet, when your soul is calling, you’d better be ready.
Mine had been trying to get my attention a long time, but I had ignored the signs ’cause I felt safe in a place that I had clearly outgrown.
In the last year I’ve had few clients who also lost their jobs; unlike me that had nothing else to fall back onto but they too, felt it was time to look deeper within themselves.
Whether they took time off or just set for smaller jobs to start off with, they all began to think in terms of well being rather then profit.
They all felt that a normal working routine was no longer able to support their need to grow and try new things.
All of them complained about lack of time and energy at the end of their long working day to do the things they loved.
They all took the courage to choose what felt mattered the most: a healthier work environment where individuals thrive rather than withering.
But they also understood the importance of being responsible for their own well being and actively made changes to their day to day routine.
One client for instance saw how even in his new job, despite being quite a relaxed environment, would still have lunch at his desk.
Truth is, he constantly felt that he needed to prove himself but eventually saw how this came from him rather than the job itself.
When he managed to find a little spot outside where to go and sit every day or whenever he needed five minutes for himself his whole approach to work shifted.
He became less uptight and was able to perform better and cooperate with his team in a more effective way.
When we look at our work life as a way to grow and better ourselves, then it does not matter whether we stay in a job forever or we get made redundant.
What matters is feeling strong of our wealth of experience and how we share it with others, knowing that each job enriches us while showing us where we need to be more mindful and caring towards ourselves and others.
WRAPPING IT UP
- If you have lost your job, do reach out. I can definitely help you turn the challenging time around and move forward
- Do you feel you may have been unfairly dismissed? Seek the help of an expert. At the same time, try to explore the possibility of this being actually a blessing in disguise (most of time it will be!)
- Rather than panicking, look at finding a new job as an opportunity to do some soul searching. What do you actually like doing? What gives you joy? What are you good at? What is your purpose in life? Can you combine what you love doing with your purpose and then find a job that feeds both?
- Last but not least, habits tend to stick. Starting a new job can help you see where you are not supporting yourself. But it can also show you how you are possibly making others responsible for your own well being. Be the starter of those changes you want to see in the work place, regardless of what others are doing. You’ll find that your “healthy traits” will follow you no matter where you work and will support you during challenging times.
Thank you for visiting Bliss in the City
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