I have been reflecting on fear lately and our need to play safe so we can be liked and accepted.
Social media can be, in this case, a double edged sword! While it allows to reach out a vast amount of people very quickly, it’s also unforgiving and very often cruel.
When I started to support others in their inner growth, it was very clear social media was going to play a big part in it.
Yet, I just could not do it.
I resisted it, I avoided it and also despised it (literally!).
I felt exposed and aware of my limits.
Who was I to believe I had something to share outside my very small life?
Were my skills and knowledge going to shield me off from everybody’s judgement?
Was I going to stand out in a overcrowded and noisy arena while inviting everybody back to silence?
I suddenly saw though, how that fear had very little to do with social media and more to do with my need to “fly low” and be accepted.
Perhaps I was going to play safe for the rest of my life and even die of boredom, yet no one was going to question my talents and perfection.
No one was going to laugh at me and disparage me in front of the whole world.
Yet, the more work came in, the more I felt I had to share what I stand for.
The more I started to expose myself.
It’s been an inspiring ride, and maybe I’m the only one inspired here! However allowing myself to go out there and be who I am has been giving me immense joy.
Even when I screw up.
Actually, especially at such times.
Because I feel alive!
I’m growing, and mostly I’m allowing my own soul to grow.
And when we don’t let it, we are in for a “half life”!
I cringe every time I see myself in my videos and pictures (I even refused to have a photographer at our wedding for this reason!) and there are things I’m still unsure about, but I’m learning new skills and this is so exciting.
Even if that means making a ‘boo boo’ of myself long the way.
My work allows me to deal with people from all walks of life and I can honestly say that the ones who thrive have learnt to switch off their personal mind and allow a deeper wisdom to come through.
This stops them from taking themselves too seriously, while allowing them to look at mistakes simply as an opportunity to do better!
They are not afraid to get it wrong and then start again, but mostly their own self worth never gets affected in the process.
Our “small mind” will always try to protect us, same as the fiercest of mothers.
Too often over protective parents will stop their kids from “exposing themselves”, in case of embarrassment!
Remember growing up and your mum telling you to stop doing this or that because people were going to laugh at you?
You believed her, didn’t you?
And you still do!
We all still believe the parent, friend, carer who told us that “keep it low” is a much wiser way to live cause otherwise our wings may break and we may fall way down!
Yet, as we let others know best, our soul slowly starts drying up!
We will recognize the signs right away if we are awake (or desperate!) enough to pay attention: we never really feel alive but rather weary and suspicious. Our heart is rarely “light”, and we can always sense an underlying terror of what may happen if the others saw our real self!
The fear of being exposed cripples our desire and need to grow.
Our right to thrive.
We never came in this life to be small! Our journey here is, instead, an opportunity to evolve into what we had to forget along the way.
What are you afraid of?
Did you ever give up on your Voice so the world could like you better?
And how has that been sitting onto your heart?
I invite you to have fun and really throw yourself out there!
Start looking at your mistakes like my “super clients” do: a simple opportunity to do even better!
Start from small things, take baby steps!
Our problem is that we think we’ve got to start “big”, while that is often a recipe for disaster!
We want to start from something that gives us and others joy!
And while you do so, dare to be exposed in all your perfection.
Dare to be alive!
Wrapping it up
- Your “personal mind” will always try to protect you from the “scary monsters” out there, for unfortunately it’s been programmed to spot threats everywhere so it can keep you safe
- Anything different from your normal routine will be registered as a “red alarm” hence your mind will start telling you that is possibly not a good idea trying something new
- When we don’t allow ourselves to take risks, depression sinks in for we are not letting ourselves grow
- Fear will not leave you overnight. Just think that you have spent a fairly long time with it so it’s likely to stick around for a while longer! The trick is to do whatever your mind is warning you not to especially when you feel most anxious about it.
- Start small, have fun & don’t take yourself too seriously!
Thank you for visiting Bliss in the City.
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