Being a coach means coming across all sorts of people.
Some are just plodding along; others feel they are truly stuck or that they are ready for the big change.
Then there are the “exceptional” ones.
These are a different kind of breed altogether and they are usually divided in two distinct groups: the ones who truly have mastered some sort of “wow” factor in whatever field they are in, and then the ones who think they have this vast potential trapped somewhere in the depth of their being, ready to be unleashed and change human race for the better.
The first group are usually people who spent years & tears to be the best at what they do; the second group simply suffer from a “delusion of grandeur”.
In both cases, these are people who constantly put themselves through an immense pressure trying to be someone, stay at the top of their game and never fail themselves or they loved ones.
In truth, the “exceptional” ones are quite a few and are a bit everywhere.
In each one of us there is a “mini exceptional me” ready to be forged into some sort of superstar, whether that is “mum of the year”, “best husband”, “coolest dude” and so on.
Call it the plague of modern times or whatever you will, in a world where most people are trying to excel at something, most will be failing because if too many people become exceptional, then this just becomes commonplace. On the other hand, the ones who do succeed will start suffering from the “plague of exceptionality”, because they will feel isolated & estranged from others.
So while the very few exceptional ones may feel envied, misunderstood and alone, the rest of us just spend our life feeling like failures because we are not “enough”: “cool enough”, “calm enough”, “sexy enough”…and the worst one of all “happy enough”.
I recently embraced the very liberating “have an average day” philosophy.
After catching myself striving to become a starlet in the world of coaching & blogging, I quickly saw how that had taken the fun & passion out of what I do. Wanting to excel had simply turned the game for me: one minute I was feeling the excitement of building something meaningful, next I had started to wonder why I’m not the next Marie Forleo or writing for the Huffington Post yet. That pressure has not helped my business a bit, for it is only when I come from a place of ease and joy I can truly support my clients and make a difference in what I do. When I’m present in my “enoughness,” life flows, things get done and I know I’m being of service to the world.
Wishing ourselves and others “an average day,” gives permission to do what we love and want to do, not what we think we should do or others are expecting us to do. And this is the formula for an extraordinary life: a series of average days will always lead us to be in the now rather than where we think we should be.
And it’s only in the now that miracles happen.
“Have an average day” game
- What is the one area of your life you’ve been striving to excel in? Example:
- Being a great parent
- Being wonder woman (I have made this up, but you know what I mean!)
- What would be an average day in that area, meaning neither exceptionally good nor exceptionally bad? Example:
- Spending half an hour before and after school solely focused on being with the kids
- Spending 45 minutes a day actually writing
- Speaking to 5 new prospects
- Learn how to fly and team up with Superman (kidding!!!)
- If you repeat your “average day” five days a week, how much of a difference would you make in 3 months, a year or a lifetime?
- Spending at least an hour a day for three months with your kids will give you around 80 hours’ worth of quality time which will result in you really get to know them well and tune in to their wants & needs.
- Writing for around 100 hours in 6 months would be enough to complete a book.
- Speaking to over 100 people a month will definitely lead to some sales.
- Do three small things today that will have a positive impact on a project you are working on or a new adventure you want to start.
Repeat daily for as long as you like and see what difference your “average day” will make in your world.
I’m the founder of Evoking Grace, a coaching program designed to inspire others to be their very best while bringing ease and balance into their everyday life. I can be contacted by email for more details on the work I offer or to schedule a free “Wisdom Within Session“. Follow my mumbling & musings on Facebook , Twitter & Pinterest to be part of my “online tribe”.