This year has been many things so far, and one in particular has made us all feel uneasy and out of our depth.
We no longer fit the image of ourselves diligently built & shared with the world throughout our lives.
Have you noticed how what once felt good, safe, and solid, now just feels limiting?
The very image of yourself you were so proud of, no longer feels enough.
For many of us that is a real tragedy!
We don’t do so well when we can’t, somehow, define ourselves.
We do even worse when we can’t find ways to improve what no longer works.
So we hold on to our good habits and use bigger words, hoping that they will give us a new sense of ourselves.
In the meanwhile we try real hard to get rid of the bad habits worrying that they must be the reason why life feels so hard right now.
“Hi, I am Antonia Lyons, I am a white straight woman, born in Italy and settled in London, wife & puppy mum, I only eat organic, do yoga, work in self growth…..”
All this just sounds like a lot of words to me right now, and truthfully does anyone really care about what I eat or do?
I am going to be a bit daring and call 2020 “the crap cutter year.”
I sense that this year whatever was not real in our lives has been pushed out of the door.
All the traits, qualities, habits, stories that made us who we are suddenly vanished and we are being left with not much.
The story we have been told over again and perhaps no one ever payed attention to, the skills we thought made us stand out, the qualities we believed made us special.
All this has slowly been leaving our space, causing us to feel empty & confused.
We no longer know who we are.
So we get righteous and we turn the world into right & wrong, bad and good.
Because we are scared.
We are holding on for dear life to what we thought was us, while it simply was our “mini me.”
We thought we had become so big while we actually kept ourselves and one another very small.
And all these crazed little “mini mes” are running around shouting obscenities to everybody else, desperately trying to do the right thing to save the world.
This is why I rarely join those “let’s pray every day at 5pm to spread the light and end the darkness” groups.
Most of the time they are just a bunch of righteous folks with a big agenda: “I am going to shine for the world because I am such a nice person.”
How about you started to shine for yourself instead, and let the world do what it does best.
Which is falling asleep to suddenly wake up and start seeing life with fresh eyes and a wider heart.
We play this strange game called “let’s remember how big we are.”
And to do that, the players agree to become very small.
Some of them turn so tiny, often the world cannot longer see them.
They suddenly wake up again and start remembering their own light.
The tiny people start shining in, very softly at first and then so brightly.
They become so luminous, now their light diffuses all around reaching the far corners of our world.
When we remember how big we are and start shining within, only then we can truly shine for others.
And so it is,
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